The Power of 'Who' Over 'What': A New Approach to Resolutions

Jan 2

3 min read

The start of a new year often comes with an exciting sense of possibility. We set resolutions with the best of intentions—to lose weight, earn more money, or finally tackle that home project. But how often do these resolutions truly stick? More importantly, do they really lead us to the life we want to live?

What if this year, instead of focusing on "what" you want to achieve, you shifted your focus to "who" you want to become?

This subtle yet powerful change can transform the way you set goals and how you live your life. Here’s how you can embrace the power of "who" over "what" and step into a year of deeper alignment, purpose, and fulfillment.

1. Start with Reflection, Not Tasks

The "what" is tempting because it feels tangible. Lose 10 pounds. Save $5,000. Get a promotion. But these goals are often disconnected from the bigger picture of what you truly desire.

Instead, start with reflection. Ask yourself:

Who do I want to be by the end of this year?

When you shift to "who," you’ll naturally find goals that align with your core values. For example, instead of setting a resolution to hit the gym every day, you might focus on becoming someone who prioritizes their health and well-being. From there, the "what" becomes a byproduct of your "who."

2. Measure Success Differently

Traditional resolutions often rely on external markers of success: numbers on a scale, a promotion, or the size of your savings account. While these metrics can be motivating, they’re also fleeting. What happens when you hit the number? Does that mean you’ve arrived?

When you focus on "who," success looks different. It’s measured by purpose and fulfillment rather than outcomes.

For instance, if you decide you want to be someone who cultivates meaningful relationships, success might look like initiating weekly coffee dates with friends or practicing active listening with your loved ones.

This approach allows for flexibility and resilience. You’re no longer tied to rigid goals and instead, you’re guided by your evolving vision of who you want to become.

3. Lean on Faith and Courage

Redefining your resolutions isn’t easy. It requires a leap of faith and the courage to let go of old patterns. Trust the process and give yourself grace to grow into your "who."

Growth rarely happens in a straight line, and that’s okay.

Practical Steps to Get Started:

Create the List: Write down a list of the things that come to mind about the type of person you want to become this year. Keep this list easily accessible for frequent reference.
Set Identity-Based Goals: Instead of "run a marathon," aim for "become someone who enjoys movement and challenges their limits."
Celebrate Small Wins: Each time you act in alignment with your "who," acknowledge it. These small moments build momentum.

The "what" will always have its place, but when you start with "who," you create a foundation that aligns your goals with your deeper purpose. This year, let your resolutions be about more than checking boxes—let them be about becoming the person you’re meant to be.

As you step into this new approach, I challenge you to dream boldly, reflect deeply, and trust that the process will lead you exactly where you’re meant to go. You’ve got this!.

What’s one goal you’re excited to work toward this year? Email me directly at brittney@brittneytollinchi.com

And, if you’re ready to go all-in on your big dreams and align your life to your greater purpose – I’m your coach! Be sure to complete the Coaching Inquiry Here and we’ll schedule your free consult call to see how coaching can serve you in the new year!

Let’s make 2025 a year of purpose, growth, and meaningful action—together.

EXTRAS:

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